Confessions of a Serial Book Quitter

It’s Andy here today. Ann is over in OurLittleCorner with some “moving” poetry.

One thing I dread about dinner parties and other small social gatherings is the inevitable question, “Read any good books lately?” The question is a problem for me because, to be honest, I frequently don’t finish the books I start (which often seem to be the books everyone else around the table is raving about). This is a double whammy for my self concept: not only does this make me feel like a quitter, it raises questions about my literary sophistication — and who doesn’t want to come off as “well read?”

Part of the issue may be that most of my book reading takes place on my Kindle when I’m settled in bed for the night and I typically get through only a few pages before sleep calls. This incremental reading routine likely contributes to my penchant for abandoning books (at least the ones that don’t quickly capture my fancy). To make matters worse, my Kindle keeps a record of the percent I’ve completed of each of my downloaded books — an ever-present digital reminder of my dismal literary track record.

But there may be a silver lining to my book-quitting dark cloud. I’ve discovered that DNF —what folks in online book communities use for”did not finish” — has been getting some positive press lately. For example, the NY Times just reviewed a new book by Erik Piepeburg (How DNF Became A-OK) which makes the case that bailing on books may not be as bad as it seems. To spare the irony of adding Piepeburg’s book to my Kindle DNR list I decided not to download it — nor read it.

But I did come across a blog about DFN posted by someone named Kimberly (on her website Thiswriterreads.com) which, IMHO, is spot on and should be required reading for all guilt-ridden book quitters. She titled it “Why Readers Struggle to DNF a Book—and Why It’s Okay to Quit.“

Kimberly begins by addressing the question of why the decision to DNF a book can be so”troubling.” Several of her points were particularly on target for how I feel about setting aside an unfinished book:

Anti-Quitting Conditioning :
We are taught as little kids that quitting is bad… Since not finishing a book is essentially quitting it, DNFing can make the reader feel like a failure, even though it ends up being a smart choice.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):
…it must get better further along… Readers worry they’ll miss a brilliant twist or emotional payoff if they stop too soon.

There Must Be Something Wrong with Me, Not the Book
Readers who see others rave about a book they couldn’t get into can make them question their taste or feel like they’re missing something.

But what I appreciated most (or needed most?) were the reasons she gives for why we shouldn’t feel bad about DNFing books:

Taste Is Personal:
Just because a book is highly rated doesn’t mean it’s for you. Also, just because a book isn’t for you doesn’t mean it’s a bad book.

Reading is a Hobby, Not a Chore:
You’re reading to relax, have fun, or learn stuff. Reading for personal pleasure shouldn’t feel like a job or homework.

You’re Not Alone:
Thousands of readers DNF books. It’s a normal, healthy part of being a reader.

She concludes by pointing out that we’re not letting anyone down (including ourselves) when we DNF a book: “No one cares that you DNFed the book, and neither should you. It’s okay to put it down and move on. Really.”

So with a newfound sense of self worth, I plan to move on. Really. No longer will I feel like crawling under the table when at a social gathering the “Read any good books lately?” question pops up. In fact, I’ll be proud of my DNF record and may even pass around my Kindle to show off all of the good books I have abandoned (with an appropriate air of modesty, of course).

On second thought, maybe I should take the initiative and ask a preemptive “DNFed any good books lately?” That should generate some lively discussion around the table.