Parental advisory: Some of the content of this blog may be unsuitable for children (even though they probably know as much or more about this content than we adults).
Greetings! It’s Andy here. I’m taking the reins for today’s blog while Ann is over in Our Little Corner punning it up about bunnies and snowmen with a bit of profanity and a recipe thrown in. It’s not to miss.
My only directive was to focus on something appropriate for the holidays. It was a struggle to find a suitable topic until I came across The Secret Power of Swearing published in the NY Times by Rebecca Roache, a senior lecturer in philosophy at the University of London. Her essay is based on her recent book, “For F*ck’s Sake: Why Swearing Is Shocking, Rude and Fun.” With a title like that I had little choice other than to get a copy. Once I started reading I knew that swearing had to be the topic for today’s blog. It appears that using the F-Bomb has the potential to bolster our holiday spirits. What could be a more ideal topic?
Until perusing her book I had no notion of the weighty philosophical, ethical, and theoretical issues associated with such words as f*ck, c*nt, and sh*t (some of the heavy hitters in the swearing arena). Nor did I know why I would feel more comfortable using an asterisk for these naughty words rather than spelling them out – even though we all know precisely what they mean. And I certainly had no idea that swearing could be so closely linked to our emotional and physical well-being.
You might be wondering why we should be concerned about bolstering our spirits during “the happiest time of the year.” A national poll conducted this year by the American Psychological Association found that about 89% of American adults feel stressed during the holidays by such issues as not having enough money, missing loved ones, or anticipating family conflict.
It’s no wonder then that the Internet is filled with advice on what to do about our flagging holiday spirit. Take for example these suggestions posted on The McLean Hospital Mental Health website:
- Recognize that you don’t need to force yourself to be happy and that it’s good to acknowledge feelings that aren’t joyful
- Avoid using using alcohol or other substances, which can worsen anxiety and depression
- Surround yourself with people who feel like you do
- Celebrate your traditions or create new ones
While suggestions like these may have some merit, I was surprised to find that not one of the sites I came across suggested using profanity to help shake the holiday doldrums. I realize that to encourage swearing sounds blasphemous, especially during religious-based holidays, but there’s some pretty solid scholarship to justify the lobbing of an f-bomb or two to help make this the jolly time of the year all that it’s cracked up to be.
I’m In addition to Professor Roache’s book, I’ve found a number of informative sites on the b web dealing with the causes and effects of swearing. Three were particularly relevant – “The Power of Swearing: What We Know and What We Don’t (the linguistics journal Lingua), “The Case for Cursing” (NY Times), and “Hell Yes: The 7 Best Reasons for Swearing“ (Psychology Today). Although none of the research specifically addresses the effects of swearing during the holidays, it’s clear to me that we would get the same effects, holidays or not. Here are some of the things that swearing has been shown to do (and I’m not making this up):
- convey positive emotions such as joy or excitement
- communicate humor
- enhance social bonding and solidarity
- signal intimacy and trust
- help with anxiety, depression, anger-management issues
- help suppress the urge to drink, take drugs, or give in to unhealthy food cravings
- elevate the body’s endorphins (which relieves pain, reduces stress and improves mood)
- provide an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being
You’d have to agree that any of these outcomes would lend themselves to a less stressful and less anxiety-ridden holiday. However, there are a couple of things to keep in mind if you are considering employing the f-bomb this season. First, you must be aware of your audience. For example, uttering the f-word while attending your kid’s (or grandkid’s) school holiday pageant not only would be inappropriate, it could actually increase your stress level. Second, swearing’s effectiveness tends to diminish when over-used…think about the law of diminishing returns we learned about in our under grad Intro to Econ classes.
So now you should be able to face the holiday season with the peace of mind that you have an emotional safety net in place. When you’re feeling up tight, frustrated, or stressed, just drop an f-bomb or two – you’ll feel better about yourself, closer to others, less anxious and, importantly, you may regain some of that illusive holiday spirit. But always remember to be selective with your swearing. James Parker in “An Ode to Swearing” (Published in The Atlantic) states it well:
Swearing is personal. How much you swear, and with (or at) whom—that’s really your own thing. And given the much-to-be-sworn-at state we’re in… I’d counsel thrift. Save those beautiful fucks for when you need them.
Not McClain Hospital , McLean Hospital, but the link went to the right place and the misspelling allows the uninitiated to pronounce it right at least. It’s about as highbrow a psychiatric hospital as there is anywhere but it probably won’t surprise you to learn I am not an admirer. I spent a month there as an extern when I was a senior medical student. There was a big dry erase board showing the status of the 15 or so patients on the ward where I was working, with their diagnoses, intern and resident responsible, etc. and each with an “estimated date of discharge.” In my innocence I asked how they could know in advance when a patient would be ready for discharge. It was when their insurance ran out, for f*cks sake.
Correction has been made! Thanks for the heads-up – and for the advice that we don’t ever end up in McLean Hospital. Damn that’s depressing!
I totally agree!!! Feels really good to use the “F” word now and then. My daughter
thinks it’s hilarious when I use it.
The one and only time I recall our mother swearing was at our dinner table when she blurted out “bullsh*t!” I don’t remember the occasion, but I do recall my shock. My dad, on the other hand….
Back in my Army day, stationed in Germany, we dealt with swearing in a special way. Our unit was rather unique in that all our Sergeants First Class (E-7) had bachelor’s degrees and all of our First Sergeants and the battalion Sergeant Major had Master’s degrees. 2/3 of the other ranks among the enlisted also had BA or BS degrees or higher. We got a new Colonel named Wall who had a USAFI high school diploma. Our First Sergeants and Sergeant Major all had reserve commissions as Colonel (from WWII or Korea) and were awaiting time for their retirement.
The new colonel had a filthy mouth and something in his background prevented him from getting a high enough security clearance to enter our operations building… and he seemed resentful and revengeful as a result.
As an antidote to his rotten mouth, we-all would substitute “hurt, Hurt!” when injured or might say “get Walled” instead of the profane word that would jump to mind. After a bit, someone complained and we had several congressional-level inquiries and we got a new and professional Colonel. Yippee. (Note: I was the village idiot… with only a HS diploma).
Happy Holidays to all!
Bob Carleton
Albuquerque
Thanks the comment, Bob. Some of the most creative and diverse swearing I’ve ever encountered was from the sergeant who greeted us inductees as we were getting off the bus to report for basic training at Fort Dix.